A Difficult Journey
Living through a Difficult Journey makes us appreciate life in a different way. Not only do our daily chores become different, but also the way in which we see and feel the people around us becomes more special.
It is difficult to explain how the words “you have cancer” can instantly change your life in such a radical way. Before I knew that my cancer could soon kill me (I had stage three breast cancer with the possibility of a metastasis, and a kidney tumor) I was living a happy and busy life. At the time of the diagnosis I had been living in Miami for almost two years, time during which I had grown a lot as a person, both emotionally and spiritually.
Somehow, the woman who had arrived with two young children to that city was blossoming and starting to get out of her shell to see a new world and a new reality. However, my reality was about work, high expectations, and the conquest of new horizons. It was also about beating difficulties as a newly single divorced mother of two children who were totally dependent on me; it was about a constant search to achieve new goals that helped my identity as a woman to become stronger each day. Certain words had a different meaning than they have today. I wasn’t afraid of obstacles. I didn’t know the meaning of being afraid. Determination ruled my everyday life. I was spending my days working and surviving but now I work to LIVE.
After the initial shock and disbelief, I accepted and understood that I had cancer. I knew from that moment on that I was starting a fight that I wanted to fight with dignity and courage. My priorities before knowing that I had cancer stopped being on top of my list. Before cancer, I worked hard to create a stable future for my children and myself. After cancer, I was fighting simply to be able to live for and with my children because I desperately wanted to see them grow up.
Among the many things that I learned in this journey was that each moment in life is special and it’s never the same again. Life does not stop. It is always in constant change. The word “always” doesn’t exist because life moves constantly. And we must learn to let go.
I believe that the hardest lesson that we must learn throughout our live on this planet of Light that we call earth, is the art of letting go. Sooner or later all of us are going to leave life as we know it, and, when that happens it is only our souls that leave and continue their journey. Everything that we accumulate in life stays here, because to reunite with the spirit of the universe we only need our spirit, not our possessions.
I call cancer the bipolar disease because it grows inside our bodies taking us closer to death in a cowardly manner. It is hidden inside us, until one day when we know of its existence, get frightened and make the conscious decision to begin to fight. (Although sometimes unfortunately when we find out about its presence it is too late). But, on the other hand, cancer is a disease that teaches us great lesson of love, compassion, and care. Lessons of letting go, of peace and comfort. It is a disease that somehow brings out the best in people, in the patient, in the caregivers, and even in complete strangers that reach out to you to help.
When I have the chance to reflect and look back, having cancer has been an invaluable lesson of love. It taught me the true beauty of life. It made me realize that life is made up of a chain of moments created by our own experiences as we write the history of our lives in our own book of life. And each story is written by different stages: happy stages, peaceful stages, tranquil stages, and sad and difficult stages as well. Each one of them plays a very important role in the school of learning, through which the soul evolves.
Even though my battle with cancer (three times) was really a very Difficult Journey, it has also been a blessing, a great opportunity for growth and personal satisfaction. With the spiritual help of God Father and Mother, the Supreme Being, the Universe, the Guardian Angels, my Protectors and my Spiritual Guides, my spiritual family and my family, my friends, and the kindness and generosity of so many people, even total strangers, I have a new outlook of life. Each day is the true time to vivir life to the fullest becuase I am grateful for each new day that I am alive.